Wednesday, 31 July 2013

Kenyan memories museum

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, your curator today is Mr Shiramba Khamasi. As you can see, we are still trying to establish the museum, it does not have much but it has enough to jog your memory. Nothing expensive for anyone
to steal, yes, i had to warn you. So let's begin the tour. On the right side of the building, you can see televisions, but its not the TVs which are of interest, its the programmes. You can watch Kinyonga, it used to air on Sundays. Those days it was Mydundah, these days its Papa Shirandula. You can also watch Sanaa Ya Kiswahili, honestly i found it boring but anyway it's history. Better days was the premiere soap opera on television, at least Mali is holding it down, Omo pick-a-box, money or the box. We had Joy Bringers, hey, at least the Joyce Omondi and Co. had a trail made for them. Then there was Tausi, "Hammaton my dear Hammaton ukinishika nasikia electricity". I still remember that episode of Tausi. For drama queen Rukia, we have Lulu Mali.  
      Next is the beverages and snacks section. Those days when lifestyle diseases did not exist. When 3 tea spoonfuls of sugar was innocent. You can see a satchet of Dextrosol glucose which left my palms orange after licking it, a packet of Bibo, goody goody and KSL sweets, Softa soda drinks, even a stash of nyam nyam which was a roadside snack just like roast maize is. Those days diabetes, cancer were diseases for those who had the money to manage them but now everything delicious is a danger to health. I've seen my KOFA mathematical set. I remember labelling my name on it with my compass.
         Do you remember the following books: Hekaya za Abunwasi, Manywele, Moses in a muddle and other books in the Moses series and Goldilocks. We were kept company by Tom and Mary since class one, right now they must be tarmacking like the rest of us. The reading culture then was healthy but now Facebook has pages like 'Convesation za Ujinga' and 'Kama uko under 18 na +25 usilike hii page' providing the stories In this partition we have canes. Yes, canes in the museum. All types of canes bunsen burner pipes, hose pipes, sticks including those red Tilly handles. Caning was actually legal in schools. Those days backsides were used painfully shape our discipline. Now kids are grounded and denied mobile Internet for 48 hours as punishment.
        The days when young ones effortlessly memorised and recited the National Anthem in full, the Loyalty Pledge and memory verses. Look at the brick games and Lego bricks and i took photos of children playing Kati, Kalongo, Banta/Bano, "karate ya uongo" and other outdoor games just for memories. Now,TV series are keeping children obese in their homes, they fall in love quickly watching Vampire Diaries not playing Kalongo. I think being a child was much more fun than nowadays.
        Straight ahead,you can see if you can fit in my Savco jeans. These days scaringly tight pencil jeans are trending or maybe not, my fashion radar is under repair. You have seen those shoes that had disco lights when you stomped your foot and those Hanson canvas shoes that you would pray, it does not rain when wearing them. We now have vans and plastic shoes worn without socks.
       At the tech area you remember the diskette, Sagem phone, my Motorolla T-190 along with the Kencell credit card which was as big as a wedding invitation card. In 15 years, they will make space for your Iphones, tablets and the rest of your Smartphones. On your left,you can look at those ancient Sheng' words engraved on that tablet. There words like gashe, kobole,matho,odijo. I can guarantee you xaxa, qwani and quender huckoe will never make it to this museum even after 586 years.
     At the bunker, there are pre-Michuki, pre-yellow line memories of public transport. Stagecoach, Tropex, Kangasha and Webuye Escort buses, those days public transport had not been baptised in the late Michuki's rules. A 60-seater Webuye Escort bus could carry 200 passengers, with a daredevil driver, at a constant speed of 160 km/h overtaking on tight corners.
      I do not have everything yet so i'm urging memorable Kenyans to add more to these archives so that this museum can grow.

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