Thursday, 25 April 2013

This Introvert Called Christopher

As i write this i am in solitude. Those with a measure of care notice that I'm seated alone on a bench. Call it indolence to socialise or an inert personality or maybe its just plain shyness
. Socialising has never been easy for me. I find it difficult to fuel a conversation to its destined outcome let alone sparking one. I have a heartless and soulless social life. In an effortless gaze you can spot me in a crowd. This sight is replicated so much so the ignorant dub my character as anti-social.. In fact,i have developed paper cuts as i pursue information on how to sex up my social life in numerous manuals, best-selling books and magazines. I have even trawled cyberspace to try and acquire interpersonal skills. Those efforts to unearth a solution for my inability to mingle widely haven't come good as yet. I know the social lane is carpeted by opportunities and connections for growth but the fear of rejection lurks in the deep corners of my psyche. I have found it hard to demagnetise myself from the pull of quietude and solitude. I must admit that sometimes i have had abject attempts at making a conversation and they have all ended up direful. I look at my peers as they don't have to- go to hell for leather- as regards creating and nurturing a good and warm conversation. They seem to know what to say to charm a lone individual or a gaggle of peers. Not many, embrace a warmless and humourless chat, the kind of which drums from my voice box. My phone offers good company in my loneliness with entertainment, internet and all but i still feel bereft of much needed company. From the lonesome figure that i cut, i take pride i consider myself a maverick,a person who rarely lays foot on a path where others tread.. I am different,i am unique: is the consolation i clutch tightly. I'd rather reserve my silence than utter something that will be remembered for ages for its embarrassing value. I know there is no cost in a tete-a-tete but the capital to mangle a straight chat. for me. is a skyscraper too high. As i watch the swelling crowd shrink, my thoughts drift towards the nearest site which will prep me up for the next, really,airless interaction.

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