Tuesday, 16 September 2014

The Affair

The bitter aftertaste of the experience i had was almost unbearable. It all started with a woman and ended similarly.
The rollercoaster i was on wrecked and spat me out from the highest peak. Her dressing was perma-elegant, her table manners refined, she was high-minded, though not too bookish but intelligent enough. She was ambitious and knew what she wanted, she didn't pussyfoot and i loved that. She walked, talked with decorum and swagger, this indeed was a rare breed. She was a garden of beauty with lots of va va voom. The only thing that stood between us was a 13 year age gulf. Yes, she was older, more moneyed, stylish and way out of my league.
I did not understand why she was drawn to me. I had a chaotic dental formula but she loved my smile. She said she liked where i was going and that she would help me get there. She upgraded my life. My lifestyle wasn't predictable and humdrum anymore. A life of luxury followed. I ate life with a big spoon. The German cars, the exotic holidays, the classy wardrobe, she hauled me from the cave i was living in, into a real house. When we were together the kisses were not amateurish, the passion was volcanic and the eruptions were audible, the meeting of the flesh was as powerful as the meeting of the minds, we did no wrong when we were together. The foundation of our relationship was the four legs of a bed not love, trust and friendship, i wasn't supposed to get too attached. I was not a socialite, i was her only light.
My upwardly mobile life did not go unnoticed. My crooked teeth were fixed and my smile was radiant, its radiancy impressed all and sundry including ladies who had waved me goodbye to look for diamond pastures. Then i was broke, now i was this hustler was driving a guzzler and one by one they began warming up to me, reminding me of the 'good times' we had. My Facebook activity had sharply declined and the ones who tried to inbox me were waiting for a train to pick them up at a bus stop, they waited and waited for a response. When i met them, i told them to talk to their reflection on my spectacles and then walk.
My friend Steven tried to sober me up. He was the only one who knew about the woman. He warned me against that affair, he told me it would end in disaster. The world had accepted the narrative that i got a huge and successful publishing deal which had changed my fortunes. No one else knew about the lady, we kept it on the low though suspicion was rife. Steven refused to go to events that we never used to go to, he knew going there we would spend lots of cash that would only encourage my affair which he was against.
It was a Saturday evening at a private beach watching the sunset, yes, romance to me was idiomatic till i met her. We were smoking some good quality weed, for the class she oozed, she smoked and puffed with purpose. That evening i discovered that the weed smoking was a form of escape. In fact this thing, this affair, this relationship was a by product of her escapism. She was deeply hurt when she separated with her husband and took their two children with him. She loved her children to bits. She was looking for something to ease the pain, to lessen the hurt and make her escape reality. And then i came along after years of frustration trying to publish that book, i finally was directed to Crown publishers by a good friend. I was told they were above board and dealt with integrity. One hot February afternoon, i walked into their offices not expecting too much, i dropped my manuscript as well as my contacts.
She would call me two weeks later saying she was impressed by my work. It began professionally but slid into a personal affair. I was hesitant at first, it wasn't her age, she was 48 but looked younger and brighter than some 25 year olds i know. She kept herself fit. I refused her advances at first. My faith, my principles would not allow. I wanted to be self-made, i wasn't indiligent. But looking at some of my friends, i wanted to keep up with them. So i acquiesced to the lady's advances. She was my life's best kept secret, i thought.
The day of reckoning came when l first lost my newfound house. She had managed to reconcile with her husband and anything to do with me was discarded. Her children were back, her source of joy was back. Her anguish was eliminated, i wasn't needed anymore. The car keys had to be surrendered back, i dropped them in her office and she wasn't even there. I wasn't supposed to get attached, i was supposed to be unfeeling. The world was wondering why my exponential rise has stopped, the climbdown started rapidly. Crown publishers were not interested in my manuscript for unexplained reasons. I went back where i was almost two years ago, i had wasted my time. Any thought of her was wounding and properly painful. I was now the hustler who once drove guzzlers.and rode expensive thighs. Damn, and i wasn't supposed to get attached. The healing and rebuliding process has just began.

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