Tuesday 23 April 2013

Lisa Eats Me Up

There we were, a few metres away from the lecture hall, still misty, in fact mistier than it was. I had tapped Lisa on her shoulder when class was over, she swiftly glared at me straight in the eye and without a word she motioned me to speak.
My house-of-cards confidence collapsed on the spot, my low-voltage esteem was fried by her confident aura. "Eh,Eh, uum, uum..." i recited a string of non-fluencies, a meaningful word hard to come by. I stood there, palms sweaty, i stood still like a scarecrow, the birds of nerves that i was supposed to scare away were perched on my shoulders and pecking away at me relentlessly from all directions. She couldn't stop glaring, my approach was laid on a foundation of sand and it was sinking into sheer embarrassment. I swallowed bundles of air, as my brain tried to construct a sentence of note. My lips vibrated like a Nokia 3310 as they attempted to let out words. The right words were like a chest of treasure hidden somewhere in Antarctica or in Ejyafjallajoekull under a heap of ash, so it seemed. You might wonder, all this because of a fellow human being whose anatomy apart from - a ballooned chest, an attractive derriere, round hips and extra lips- are not different from mine, i have a brain, she has one too, the same with a heart, a gullet, lungs, hands, legs. She wasn't a goddess by any stretch of imagination. You see, i'm not the hot blooded alpha male who will roar his way to a lady's heart with rawness, no, i am a "good" boy who likes to make a refined approach towards a lady, so i take my time. My confidence was so brittle after being made fun of because of my short-sightedness for many years. My preference for reservedness made me a social wreck. Every time i tried to be loud, it felt odd. But the heart cares less about that, your eyes can see and want, your nature will make you shy away but your heart will beat the 72 tunes of love per minute you can't ignore. I never wanted to be caught in such a situation where i was on the verge of rejection. "Hey, don't waste my time" she crooned. What time? We had just stood there for less than two minutes. Those words were piercing, i felt like a little boy. She swung her scarf round her neck. My mouth was dry, an oasis of saliva wasn't near as the birds of nerves continued pecking away. "if you have look at something,go look at your mirror but don't stare at me and say nothing." she strutted away. I could see Braxedespina in her flowing orange and bright green dress with white rubber shoes following her gorgeous roommate. I wanted to vanish into the mist, i was shattered. My lines disappeared, how could i have made that mistake? Lisa was to benefit from my earlier vibe but i was too stunned to hit the right target, Braxedespina would doubtless tell Lisa about it. The afternoon was ruined, i watched as my classmates disappeared into the mist. I licked my lips dejectedly and began ambling towards the hostels, the grass was dewy and the pavements hard and cold. I saw a bevy of ladies giggling in my direction and i swore they were mocking my wordless exhibition that i had just come from, the brittleness of my pride. I ghosted my way through the mist and i could see the purple sweater and black scarf and black jeans, ahead of me. My mind was going crazy, the kind of feeling i had was anonymous, i couldn't describe it after i called out her name and said "Lisa,you are smart, i like your scarf". We looked at each other and the mist just got thicker.

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